I can very much relate to the confusion of living in a "multiverse of meaning" where
"The universes next door" are "Colliding with my own". And then I come back to what you said in the final verse "the beauty of the lamb, the self-giving one, dying and rising is too good to be un-true". Like Puddleglum's protest against the Green Witch in "The Silver Chair".
Though my "Doubt" is more desert than storm, I have experienced all three "movements" in your poem...and still do, some days transitioning through each of them - more than once!
What I've learned is....the value of 'the Doubt'...the necessity of it even. An oasis in the desert becomes all the more beautiful for the length of time one has been parched with thirst.
And, even so - reaching the cool, green borders of 'home' is all the more welcoming for the length of time one has been lost and wandering.
To fight, at the borders of Faith (Home), against an ever encroaching desertification is exhausting, debilitating, and at times an utterly hopeless 'seeming' endeavor....but what else is there?
In the words of Simon Peter (John 6:68) "Lord, to whom would we go?"
At times of deepest, long drawn out doubt-full-ness, I have found myself in a state of exhortation wherein I am (in a manner of speaking) attempting to 'WILL' God into existence (if 'presumably' He were 'not' existent)
LORD......please......BE!!!
BE! ALL THE TRUTH, LIGHT, BEAUTY AND LOVE that the best of us have believed YOU TO BE!!!
I understand it's not a pleasant experience to go through but if your crises produce art which help others reaffirm or move closer towards their own faith, does that make it worth it?
Thanks, yes, I think these times of crisis and struggle are often opportunities to grow and deepen one's own convictions. That doesn't necessarily make them easier at the time, but it helps put them in perspective! "The unexamined life is not worth living," as Socrates said, even if the process of examining it is difficult.
I can very much relate to the confusion of living in a "multiverse of meaning" where
"The universes next door" are "Colliding with my own". And then I come back to what you said in the final verse "the beauty of the lamb, the self-giving one, dying and rising is too good to be un-true". Like Puddleglum's protest against the Green Witch in "The Silver Chair".
Though my "Doubt" is more desert than storm, I have experienced all three "movements" in your poem...and still do, some days transitioning through each of them - more than once!
What I've learned is....the value of 'the Doubt'...the necessity of it even. An oasis in the desert becomes all the more beautiful for the length of time one has been parched with thirst.
And, even so - reaching the cool, green borders of 'home' is all the more welcoming for the length of time one has been lost and wandering.
To fight, at the borders of Faith (Home), against an ever encroaching desertification is exhausting, debilitating, and at times an utterly hopeless 'seeming' endeavor....but what else is there?
In the words of Simon Peter (John 6:68) "Lord, to whom would we go?"
At times of deepest, long drawn out doubt-full-ness, I have found myself in a state of exhortation wherein I am (in a manner of speaking) attempting to 'WILL' God into existence (if 'presumably' He were 'not' existent)
LORD......please......BE!!!
BE! ALL THE TRUTH, LIGHT, BEAUTY AND LOVE that the best of us have believed YOU TO BE!!!
BE! AUTHOR! CREATOR! FATHER! MOTHER! BROTHER! SAVIOR! LOVER! FRIEND!
BE! BELOVED! BE! LIFE LIVING LOVINGLY WITHIN US!
BE! WONDER! WILL! GLORY! GOODNESS! GRACE! MERCY! HOME!
LORD OUR GOD, BE! SOURCE OF ALL....BE!!! BE! REAL, TRUE, BE!GOTTEN OF THYSELF!!!
BE! LOVE ETERNALLY LOVING!!! BE!
BE! OUR ABBA IN HEAVEN! AND please, MAKE me THINE! FOREVER.
Thank you for sharing. Brought tears to my eyes this morning.
I understand it's not a pleasant experience to go through but if your crises produce art which help others reaffirm or move closer towards their own faith, does that make it worth it?
Thanks, yes, I think these times of crisis and struggle are often opportunities to grow and deepen one's own convictions. That doesn't necessarily make them easier at the time, but it helps put them in perspective! "The unexamined life is not worth living," as Socrates said, even if the process of examining it is difficult.